Frustrated!

I have pictures of our somewhat failed yet fun huckleberry trip that blogger is not letting me upload! It has kicked me out three separate times! Grrr!

Grrr... Vent Post- Know It Alls

Today we went to the Farmer's Market. When checking to see where it is located this year (it's been changing alot recently), I noticed that the website said they would have the Master Gardeners there. I thought, Hey! I can take my funky looking raspberries in and see what is causing the random white spots. (I thought it might be sunburn... :-)

So we went, had a great time, bought some tomatoes, nectarines, pears, dog biscuits, and flowers. Girls did AWESOME staying next to the stroller, so I hope to do this again soon.

The annoying part of the trip was when I stopped by the MG tent. I stood in line and listened to what to do about those pesky little stink bugs on the zucchini plant (because I have those too). My turn comes up; I show her my raspberries and she kinda reiterates about what to do because apparently the stink bugs are reeking havoc on my raspberries as well as the zucchini! And those REALLY annoying wasps and earwigs are apparently GOOD pests to have as they will eat the eggs of the stink bugs. JOY. Then I mentioned diatomaceous earth. Insert swear word here:_____. The lady about fell over. You'd think I was the dumbest person on the planet for using diatomaceous earth anywhere near anything edible! According to her, the way it kills insects (by scratching their exoskeleton and dehydrating them) is exactly what it's going to do to my insides. Also according to her, "urban legends" and "old wives' tales" are "garbage compared to her most up-to-date information straight from WSU." (Her words, not mine.)

Begin Vent! Why in the world is it so hard to find good information? Why can't modern medicine and traditional medicine work hand in hand? I have never found (and I LOOKED!) any information that would have led me to believe that DE was unsafe to use on foods- that's why I bought it instead of a bunch of insecticides! Even searching further today- it's FDA approved to use (GRAS- generally regarded as safe) to use as a filtering agent on food. MANY natural health sites recommend taking it internally to help with parasites and as a detoxificator. The only concerns I could find is that you don't want to breathe a whole lot of it in, and you don't want to use any that is not rated Food Grade, even on your plants (nonedibles) because of the chemicals and silicon that could be involved. It just drives me bonkers when someone goes off on me with their OPINION! If they want me to respect their opinion, they should be willing to respect mine. It's like with the gall bladder flush- I asked my doctor, and he laughed at me, but told me it was even safe to do when pregnant. Most medical professionals think I'm nuts, but gee, I avoided loosing my gall bladder with a fairly simple NONINVASIVE dietary flush. And I can do it again and again. But I'm the crazy one? GRRRR. Simply because of this annoying "My Way or the Highway" attitude, I'm more interested in researching natural health traditions. At least most individuals or groups teaching those traditions encourage me to do my own research and make my own decisions instead of "this is the only way and everything else is junk."

End vent. Not to say I don't appreciate modern medicine and all it's benefits. I may not have my children if it wasn't for them. (Notice I say MAY.) But I just think there is so much more viable options out there that are disregarded and discredited because it's all "old information."

Ok- I can't help but rant a bit here..

For those of you who don't know, we don't vaccinate our kids. It's a long story, but we don't. We are considering introducing some vaccines as our children get older, but it's not a done deal.

I receive the NVIC's (National Vaccine Information Center) emails on vaccine news. I must say, my jaw hit the desk with this one. (I copied and pasted this directly from the email sent out from NVIC on June 1st)

"In the past few months, the American public has been informed that two infant diarrhea vaccines - GlaxoSmithKline's Rotarix and Merck's RotaTeq - are contaminated with pig virus DNA. But there's a difference between the two vaccines: Rotarix contains parts of a pig virus that does not make pigs sick while Merck's RotaTeq contains parts of a pig virus that kills baby pigs. How many mothers know that, when Merck's diarrhea vaccine is squirted into the mouths of their two month old babies, they are swallowing parts of a pig virus that suppresses the immune systems of baby pigs so badly, they waste away and suffer respiratory, kidney, reproductive and brain damage before dying?"

Insert my sarcastic voice- "And people wonder why we are being cautious?!!"

If you'd like to read more, here's a link to the NVIC's website article.

My Most Infuriating Bad Habit

I have many bad habits. I probably have more bad habits than I even know about. But the one that makes me so mad over and over and over is my "good intentions." I find things that I've been missing, and then I put them in "special places" because I know the next time I need it, I'll remember where I put it, in it's special place! Problem is- I ALWAYS FORGET! ALWAYS!

This morning I'm trying to finish up the girls sundresses, and I'm looking for my little ruler... I can picture it in my head, and I know I put it somewhere just right... I just cannot find my "just right" place!


ARGHHHHHARAHHHHHAHAHAHJGFAHF! CAN I SCREAM ANY LOUDER?
thanks for letting me vent at myself...

Wrong

Picture this. I am shopping, with Isaac in his seat, in the top of the shopping cart. Both girls are in the main basket, munching on samples. A nice old man smiles at me as I round a corner and comments on what a full cart I have. I smile back and say something about not much room for groceries... The lady he's with glances at us, and without a smile, says "Oh, you poor thing." Her tone of voice is neither joking nor sarcastic. She means what she says. She is a woman without joy.

I disagree. I am not poor.

On the contrary, I am rich beyond measure.

Blessed with what I do not deserve, gifted to me by the Lord of all creation.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalms 127:3

Just a little overwhelmed...

The rental is almost done. I feel good about it... what I don't feel good about is the fact that when we spend all our free time up there, we don't get to work on our house at all. Even though I confessed to being a messy a couple of weeks ago, I have yet to make any significant progress because I'm so busy up there!

There. I let it out. So, if you come over, please comment on how great the rental looks and ignore how many weeds there are and the jungle they are creating. And how I haven't yet picked my corn... And all the crowded shelf space... At least I'm not terribly behind on the laundry.

But we listed it today. Finally. Now just prayers for wisdom and the right neighbors for us. :-) One day at a time. And sometimes, 5 minutes at a time.

Warning Men: TMI!

Wow... Didn't see this one coming, but tonight I feel as if I should scream, yell, cry, bash my head against a wall.... What does that sound like? (At least in my world...) PMS- oi.

I hate it when it hits me like a train- didn't expect it, thought I was going crazy.... Praying over and over, desperately, "GOD!!! What is wrong with ME!????"

I do feel a little better now that I've realized what's going on, but that doesn't help my short temper or sudden urge to scream at the top of my lungs.

Thank goodness my children are in bed. Tomorrow will be a better day.

I need a Mantra!

What do you chant to yourself as you are trying to sort through your kids stuff? I did so good a few months ago, now I am stuck in the guilt-rut again! Somebody tell me you won't be offended if I give something away that you gave them!
I keep thinking... "but they love that - when they play with it... but they have so much stuff they don't have time to play with it all...."

Edit: Sorry, that was me venting. It's hard when the job is just so overwhelming, and I don't know how to truly get started. But I think, after calling Annie for inspiration, that now I have an idea of how to get going. We will get it done! And both girls will be able to fit in one room! :-)

Frustrating Circumstances

Melia now has a low fever, so I will not be going with Gabe to Seattle. I know this is just a small thing in the midst of life, and I'm not really mad, just brokenhearted. I was looking forward to our night away for so long, especially knowing that life will just get busier and it's not like it's easy to get away alone as it is anyway.

He is going over to spend the night before his meeting tomorrow, even though he doesn't need to, because priceline isn't refundable/transferable. So I will have his report back to you about how we felt it worked. Meanwhile, we are trying to make the best of it, cleaning and organizing our pantries while he's home. Sometimes I can't help the tears, but I know I should be joyful that at least it's just a fever instead of a more serious problem- but that's more irritating too, that it's just a dumb fever.

It's just so frustrating, that 75% of the times they get sick (which is pretty rare anyway) it's when we had special plans. Is this normal with young children? The time parents desperately need away is taken because of illness? I ranted earlier, asking God what purpose does this serve? And I know staying home is the right choice, but that doesn't make my heart feel much better. It just stinks all around. Makes me cry more than that stupid skunk a few years back....

Big Holiday Melt Down

I had my first real "lose-it" moment tonight. Guess what happened?

Yep. I promised so many people that they would have their Christmas cards before Christmas, and that the secret to the sex of Smith Child #3 would be in it. But it ain't gonna happen.

I should have known better than to hold off until after the 22nd, and expect the stupid computer and printer to communicate correctly, for me to know how to make the same Christmas photo page we've made for the last several years, and for me not to just plain lose my mind.

Should have known better. But didn't.

But I am better now, thanks to a very late trip to Fred Meyer to buy dill to make Grandma's famous Herbed Dinner Rolls. A couple of good songs on KLOVE, and actually one of them was the Christmas Shoes song, and my mind was back on track, focused on where it is supposed to be. That even though some of you will not find out what we are having until after Christmas, it will not be the end of your world, and I should therefore not feel a huge load of guilt bearing down on me. Remind me that you will be so busy you won't even know what you are missing- especially because it doesn't change a thing...:-) Baby is still baby, and won't be here till spring.

Now, some sleep would be good, and start fresh tomorrow. Amen.

Gee, Why would we?

Last year, the county sewer company put a sewer line down our street. It was explained to us at the time that they were paying to put it in, and if we wanted to hook up to it, we would have to pay a fee to help cover the inital cost of the whole project. At the time, I think it was suggested at about $10K. No thanks, especially since we had just paid that to have our septic system put in.

Last week we finally got the letter from the sewer company explaining all the details and fees. Guess how much we owe them, as a Local Facilities Charge and Connection Fee?

Connection Fee/Permit: $2929
LFC: $27280.49
Total fees at the time of connection: $30,209.49

Wow. Thirty grand- to hook up and pay bi-monthly charges after that instead of having a system in place which will only cost a few hundred to have pumped... Plus, why should I pay when they never replaced my trees they killed?

What I want to know is if they will have the ability at any time in the future to force us to pay this and hook up? Hmmm?

A Little Rant

Does it bother anyone else that *before* the election, we were not suppose to consider race an issue, not to let that interfere with our voting preference-

But now! It's like I can't get away from hearing how "wonderful" and "miraculous" it is that we have elected a black man for president! And reading an article that 1 in 5 voters said that race was high on their reasons for voting for Obama? But all the bad to you if you let race *prevent* you from voting for him!

Personally, I don't care if he's black or white! Or any other *color*! I want to know he can do the job!
Ok, I feel better now. That just irks me to no end. How hypocritical.

Did you know?

I had a thought, and went to check my fridge. We have a squeeze bottle of jam in there that Gabe purchased to take hunting.

Brand-name store-bought jam has high fructose corn syrup in it!

This probably should have been a *duh* moment, but I just am so amazed at everything they put it into! I am starting to really buy into the theory that high fructose corn syrup is being used the same way MSG is... because it's addictive.

Does Anyone Else Struggle With This?

I know I have been talking a lot about "religious" stuff, but I am just so excited about what I've been learning. So please be gracious, and I would love to hear what you think-- even if you disagree! :-)

I was pondering my last post, and thinking about why Christians aged 20-30 have such a different view from those in earlier generations. And why only 10% of voters have a biblical worldview compared to 48% who claim Christianity. This reminded me of the difficulty I have had since leaving my "school years" (high school-college age) in learning to have a biblical worldview instead of the humanistic view that we are taught in school.

I remember one time in college, in sociology or something like that, when the professor just had to pick me, asked if I was at home with children and an intruder broke in the middle of the night -My family's lives were in danger - I have a gun - What do I do? I said "Shoot." "To what end?" "Death, if necessary." "But doesn't the Bible say 'Thou Shalt Not Murder?' " "Ok, so I shoot their legs."
She proceeded to rip me to shreds, and the Bible along with it. I left nearly in tears because I did not know how to defend my beliefs or position. I could not argue what the Bible said versus humanism because all I really understood was humanism. I did not understand what I knew to be truth - now I do regarding that subject, and I want to know more about everything else.

Anyway, my question for anyone else willing to put themselves out there, and if I may, specifically those of you who attended Christian schools and colleges: Do you struggle with this biblical versus humanistic worldview? I feel like every time I come up against something new, it's like I have to relearn it, from a biblical standpoint. And I want to! But sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that the whole world is against me, and like I will never really *get* it. Like I have so far to go. (This is why I seek discussion - although I know this forum makes me sound more like just a know-it-all. Please look past this soapbox scenario and understand that this is me, growing and examining, grateful that He is so amazing in teaching me.) Hear me- if my gifts are knowledge and wisdom, why do I get such a negative response from other Christians when I am trying to learn? Do you have to have these gifts to have such a hunger for understanding? Does anyone else feel like they are being discouraged from growing, because it typically means growing away from the world and the mainstream Christianity?

Should we just blend in with everyone else in the name of unity and tolerance? Should we defend our positions? How do we grow if we don't challenge each other? Are only *some* of us called to fundamental Christianity? Why do we ostracise those as being fundamental and "not normal?"

Just wondering what you think. I know what I think, but share with me a little, will ya? ;-)