Friday, December 11, 2009
Interesting and Suprising Emotions
Today at work, I heard on the news that Michelle Duggar (18 Kids & counting) gave birth to number 19 baby (Josie) via emergency c-section. I was almost overwhelmed with... sadness? grief? empathy? I don't even know what to call it. But a distinct reminder that I'm not sure I will ever get over this deep sense of loss I have about not being able to have a baby naturally. It almost seems silly to me that I feel sad over Michelle, when she has given birth to 18 babies... but I still do. It's probably more about me than anyone else, but I was surprised at the depth of emotion I felt, especially over something I'd thought I'd left behind.
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5 comments:
Maybe God is bringing it up again for a reason. :) I will be praying for ya.
If im not mistaken thats an early delivery? I though she was due in like Feb or something?
Im so sorry Naye :( Having given birth I really do think everyone should have that chance. And you being so keen into the entire process not (just happy to have the baby out) I think would be an awsome expierence. I was really praying the doc in spokane would have worked out. But God seemed to clearly close that door. Its hard sometimes comeing to be at peace with the road God gives us. But its the perfect one He has layed out for us. :) It gives me great comfort to know its in His hands. Makes the hard times not so hard. And very much worth it.
~linds
Very early. I'm not sure how far along she was, but baby Josie only weighed 1 lb 6 oz I think.
PS. I'm not pregnant...
She was 25 weeks I think (due around the same time as my sister, middle of March) so the baby was RIGHT on the cusp of viability.
Lord, please be with this special family as they go through this process and all the struggles/concerns that come with having a baby in the NICU for 4 or more months!
D, you know I've had a successful VBAC, you'd think, if anything, that that would put my ceasarean out of my mind, or be completely healing. But I still find that sometimes, even something like hearing a friend/relative had a c-section or a story like the Duggars will trigger a flood of different emotions in me...to this day! It always catches me off guard a bit.
All this to say, what you are feeling is completely normal. :) I too, had hopes that things with Dr Fine would have worked out, but it was obvious that was not meant to be. Only God knows why, and we can take comfort in that!
On that note, Michelle has been such an amazing asset to the VBAC community in having 12 VBAC’s herself! I think at least one of those VBAC's was after 2 or 3 c-sections but don't quote me on that. :) Pretty cool!
That is cool, Roxanne. Thank you for sharing- I didn't know she'd had sections. Maybe I should move to the ozarks... :-)
But I do totally know that this was God's plan for me at this point. And I am secure in that. I'm sure everyone has stuff in their life that God says no to, even when we don't get it. While I will apparently grieve over it, I still have 3 amazing blessings that I am so grateful for. And at this point, having more sections won't prevent us from being open to more blessings. He is Good. He knows what is best for us. I cannot question that, even though I may ask why. I still trust Him.
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