As a quick review- our Aerostar was my lesson in humility and obedience from God. I believe this with all my heart. And I was tied to it :-) I am so very thankful for this lesson, as I am all lessons, however painful they may be. God knows what we need, and His will and timing are for our best.
A few weeks ago, Gabe changed my oil in the Aerostar and found a bit of water in the oilpan. This apparently is a symptom of a couple different problems, none of which he wanted to take on as they would require a significant amount of parts removal from that teenie tiny engine space. :-) So he said it was time. In my heart, I jumped for joy, and yet was hesistant- how does God want me to proceed? I knew Gabe needed to be in charge of the new van purchase... a continuing lesson of obedience and submission.
So a week went by. I had noticed a few vans here and there at different car lots, and mentioned them to Gabe. At the end of the week, we discussed the fact that we hadn't made any progress. Because he's so busy, we agreed that I would round up information for him to look at. Over the next week, I made some calls, we both searched craigslist, and researched the vehicles that seemed to be available. We initially were looking for 4WD, but didn't have any luck finding anything in the age/mileage range we were looking for. Hondas and Toyotas were above our price range (we had saved up cash for this purchase), plus they just weren't around. There were several Town & Country's and Freestars, so we thought that was the direction we would probably be headed.
Monday morning came, and I had my list of available cars and stats ready for Gabe. We had many different windows open (our favorites were carcomplaints.com and edmunds.com) with the different vehicles we needed to compare. He sat down with them and started to read.
I had been praying for wisdom and guidance since we started. I know myself well enough to know that I will try to get the car I want to have instead of the car that is best for us, so I wanted this to be a God-thing. To truly say that I wanted the car He had for us instead of the one I wanted. To step back and let Gabe make the decision is a very hard thing to do! But because I'd seen God work exactly this way before, and because He'd been training my heart in this walk of submission, I wanted to actively trust both of them and Let go! Patience would have been a good prayer at the time, but I just didn't think of it. :-)As Gabe finished reading and comparing the cars, he said "I'm just not thrilled with any of them." My heart sank. I'd gone to all this work, and I had a couple that I wanted to at least go see. But, step back, I reminded myself. I offered up a prayer of "Ok God. I don't understand, and I'm starting to doubt whether You care about our car purchase. But I want to wait on You." At this point I really did start to doubt- Does it matter? Did we walk the previous road with Him just because I needed to learn a lesson?
(Previous road: Me wrestling with God about a van I absolutely did not want, just in case you are not familiar with "my van story.")If this was just a "purchase," and not a "lesson," is He actually going to step in and guide us?What level of interaction with Him can I expect in this situation? Can I ask for the same supernatural involvement in our decision? Me: wanting to trust, wanting to walk with Him, but doubting what exactly is going on here.
Suddenly, Gabe says from the computer, "Hey- what is Pam's husband's name? I think this may be the M****'s van!" And a wave of peace washed over me.
That's it. That's the one. Though I can't say for sure, I'm pretty sure Gabe felt exactly the same way. A bit of history here: Gabe drove this van a few years ago for Dare to Share (youth conference over the mountains). He told Pam that he liked her van. Several times on different occasions she's offered her van to us, but at one point Gabe told her it was out of our price range, and I'd told her that I haven't been released yet... so it was always a no. But now, the same time frame that we'd decided to buy,
and had enough saved up, they had decided to go forward with listing it! It took a day to get in touch with them, but we both just knew. This was the one.
A funny thing was that it had been on craigslist for two days before we found it. I had never searched for "venture," and "van" wasn't in their title... when searching the main "autos" page, we were blinded I believe... It was a test of patience, especially since I had definitely been tempted to go out myself and "look" at vans while Gabe was working. I didn't, but the thought had certainly crossed my mind!
Another side note: Gabe has never been against getting a new van. He's always said we can if I really want to... and this has been my walk of submission to the Lord. I've never been "attached" to something before, but I truly was to the aerostar. Not an emotional attachment, but a tying... like it is not my decision to let go of it. He does not force us to Obey- I could have walked away at any time, but that wouldn't have been obedient and submissive to God's will; I knew this without a doubt. I needed to walk this road in my growing with Him.
Our new-to-us 2004 Chevy Venture minivan. A blessing from God. An answer to prayer. A lesson in patience and obedience. Thank you Lord, that when we seek You, You are Faithful to meet every need.
Amen.
