Since reading Andrea's post on their plans for parenthood, I've been thinking about what we planned for and how each child has changed our thoughts and perspectives. It's been fun, and I've laughed out loud at myself a few times. I thought I'd share :-) (BTW, this is not to contradict her post- their plans are great, and I'm sure they will be super parents! I was just thinking about us and the past six years!)
* Breastfeeding is natural- it can't be that hard. Of course we will do it.
Real life: Breastfeeding is one of the hardest and most painful things I've ever done. Even three kids later, it took all of my stubborn will-power not to give up.
* We won't use a pacifier to plug our kids up.
Real life: Um, yeah. those are great little tools... especially in church! I do love that Isaac sucks his thumb, but I wish we could use a binkie with him too!
* I don't want my kids to be attached to anything, so we don't have to take it away later.
Real life: Babies are going to attach to things; parents might as well at least try to control what it might be. Melia's was her binkie, Kiera had a binkie and a stuffed bear, and Isaac is all about his thumb and blankie. The only troublesome ones were the binkies, but true to what I read, it took 3-7 days to "untrain" them. That thumb might be a different story. In the economy of babies, exchanging 3-7 days of work for a good 12-18 months of magic is a good trade!
* I hope to give my kids a better education through homeschooling.
Real life: That's not what it's about. Our greatest desire is that our children are educated within a Biblical worldview, not a humanistic one. Plus, the joy that I get from watching them learn is unmatched... try the whole "first-step" thrill times 20! It's not the easiest thing, especially when trying to decide which tools to use, but the benefit is well worth the effort.
* If I discipline the right way, my kids will be well-behaved.
Real life: We are sinners expecting baby sinners to be "good!" Consider how we disobey our Heavenly Father, and yet we wonder how our little darlings can be so naughty!? I truly believe that at the heart of obedience is a respect for authority, which as our children mature will develop into a heart of obedience to God. If we strive to instill this at a young age, hopefully our children will have an easier time following the Lord. Not to say we don't constantly have to be prayed up- because when I'm not, I'm the one who needs a "talking-to!"
* I might co-sleep. I might even nurse while sleeping!
Real life: Bad idea. Bad bad idea. Nursing while sleeping causes damage, which translates Pain! Co-sleeping is great for some, but not for us! Gabe can sleep through anything, but I'm such a light sleeper that those babies keep me up all night!
* We won't let our kids watch a lot of TV.
Real life: While this is a constant battle, nothing captures their attention quite as strongly as that darn light-box.... Even enough to let Mommy get a shower... or possibly even sleep in a little longer!
* We won't do this, and that, and that...
Real life: I was discussing "loving your husband" with an older co-worker (what an encouraging conversation we had! Blessing!!!) and she mentioned that with young children everything is so much more difficult because some days you are just trying to survive! Isn't that the truth! I needed to learn that sometimes it's ok to let the "parenting rules" slide because it's a rough day. And when it's been a rough day, the best decision is to sit down and settle in with the kiddos. Get a bunch of books, or a movie (!) and enjoy your moments together. This is much more healing that the promoted "mommy alone time," even though we all need our quiet moments too. I end up feeling closer to my kids when I've spent quiet time with them instead of quiet time by myself. However, nothing seems quite as rejuvenating as a relaxing date night... ;-)
I am sure God will keep teaching me lessons... and hopefully someday my perspectives will reflect more of Him than me.
What about you? Have any funny perspective adjustments you'd like to share? ;-)
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