Please. If you are an attractive member of the male gender, just don't talk to me. It won't turn out well. It might even be painful. Or mortifying, depending on how shy you are.
Tonight at work, I was discussing a recipe with my co-worker friend. She had given me her authentic Spanish rice recipe, and the first time I made it it was very good, but it had me burping up tomato flavor for hours. Not that I minded, as I love tomatoes. It was just weird. The second time I used a different type of rice, and it turned out completely bland. No flavor whatsoever.
So anyway! I am discussing with her the different experiences I had, including the burping of tomatoes, and I, in passing, notice there is a really really good looking guy in front of her. But I don't really notice, as I am not inclined as of yet to control my conversation.
But wait! He focuses on me, and I notice this in my periferal vision. I look at him. He is looking thoughtful. He speaks.
"Your name is Denaye? Do you have a sister named Darcy?"
I respond.
"Yes, I do..."
He speaks again.
"I know you. I remember you from when we were this big." (He motions to his thigh region, indicating we were children, elementary age.)
I look at him closely.
"What is your name?"
(Suspenseful, isn't it??)
"Brandon B." (last name withheld to protect this poor boy's privacy)
Oh Wow! How are you? You grew up tall! You aren't the chubby little baby face shy boy anymore, are you? It's so good to see you! I am sure Darcy would want me to say hi for her, so Hi! Have a great night! See you around! You are quite the hottie now aren't you?
Except, the only words to escape my lips were
"Oh woooowwwwwwwwwwwww..................................................."
He smiles slightly, gathers his change and groceries, and walks away.
My face is furiously red. My co-worker friends are howling. "Smooth, Denaye. Smooth." At least they agreed that he was really really good looking. Like belongs-on-a-California-beach-with-a-surf-board-in-a-movie good looking.
I know I am a genius. I am sure of it. But sometimes it takes my mouth and my brain a long time to catch up with those genius-y parts of me, wherever they disappear to in my desperate times of witlessness.
Like I said. Sometimes I amaze even myself.
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3 comments:
Denaye, I totally feel you sister. I do the same thing! It was MUCH worse though in highschool/college. Thank goodness those days are over! I regularly embarrass myself in small talk situations with normal people too, so hopefully that makes you feel a little better;)
Oh, I love it :-) And now I want to know who it really is, cuz I probably know him too!
I love how you can write just like you talk and make me want to always hear more. Thanks for sharing :-)
Priceless, my dear. Trust me, you are NOT alone as I would have done the exact same thing...and, of course, turned as red as a...tomato. ;)
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